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Jason is an editor for Cracked and has a Facebook page.įor more insiders' perspectives, check out 5 Horrifying Things That Happen When You Go Missing and 6 Things You Learn When Your Penis / Vagina Doesn't Work. Ryan Menezes is an interviewer and layout editor here at Cracked. "My first personal experience with death," says James, "and I got to mull it over while washing someone's arse." Can you give me a hand with Beryl?" So he turned to Beryl. When he asked one of the other staff what had happened, she answered, "Oh yeah, right, sorry - I thought you knew. James wasn't working the day he died, so a few days later, he found the man's room all packed up. One of the staff went in to his room one morning, and he was dead. He was pretty stable all the way through his stay, until his heart attack.
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So James got permission to sneak the man a six-pack and drank it with him, while chatting and watching cricket on TV. He moaned that all his friends were dead, his son didn't come to see him, and he had no one to take him out to the pub. One patient spent five years in the non-lockup portion of the ward before his dementia symptoms popped up, and he was moved to James's wing. She'd sit at the bus stop - hat just so, with her bag sitting on her lap, looking around expectantly while muttering old lady swears under her breath. One resident in particular would regularly get worked up, storm into her room, and return with a small bag packed.
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"The fake bus stop was a godsend," says James. It had a paved area and its own gate, so it looked convincing - they even got a few of the residents to help construct and paint it. For them, the rest home erected a fake bus stop. Still, some patients get fed up of their "vacation" and want to return to their families. She thought he was very hands-on in management - doing the laundry, fixing meals, entertainment - and he could get her to calm down if she was having an episode and convince her to take medication with minimal effort. Remember Emily, the resident who thought she was still in her youth and running a B&B? James thought he had to respond like this was a serious dementia episode, but as time went by, it made his job easier.